It was an expression she had seen before. The first time they met, when she was kneeling with her hands and feet bound. That same look he wore when he was negotiating the safety of the people in the castle and the territory over the seal.
"I thought it was fortunate. I was genuinely relieved. It doesn't matter to me whether you see me as a liar or a hypocrite."
Taking advantage of Curtis’s momentary hesitation, Roxana pushed against his chest and pulled herself upright.
"There are certainly evil people in this world. People who betray, swindle, rob, and steal."
Her voice was clear. Roxana had not a shred of doubt in her own convictions and beliefs. Her mother had said that no one was born evil, but in her own opinion, such people clearly existed.
Starting with her own father, the Marquess of Dalton, and including the villagers who had received so much help from the convent, yet threatened her with farming tools the moment they felt the slightest suspicion.
"But there is no one in this world who is entirely evil or entirely good. It is the environment one is given and the life one leads that makes a person that way."
"And your evidence?"
"First, Harold, who tried to strangle me to death. When I was young, he used to give me piggyback rides and find my dolls for me. We grew distant as time passed, but he was someone who made my childhood warm. Even though the piggyback rides and the dolls have now turned to ash, those memories have neither been tainted nor disappeared."
"……."
"That is why I was sad when he died. I was in a state of shock at the time, but I truly hope he has found peace."
She had expected a rebuttal, but the gray eyes she met were calm. Seeing his gaze, which seemed to be waiting for an answer, Roxana continued.
"And Mary. Mary certainly betrayed me and opened the gates of the Marquess’s castle. But it was also Mary who told me to run away just before you stormed in."
You give help, and you receive help. You receive help from someone today, and tomorrow you help someone else who has fallen. That is how the world turns, and that is how it must turn. It was her mother and the Mother Superior who taught her that. Their teachings, which she respected and cherished most, had taken firm root within her.
Silence descended upon the small room. Roxana waited for Curtis’s response, whether it was a rebuttal or anger.
However, nothing came back. Only eyes that hid their depths peered into her. He was a man who revealed his emotions more openly than anyone else, yet his thoughts remained unknowable.
"I’ve heard enough of your idealist sermon."
But the silence was short-lived. As if to refute the thoughts that had just crossed Roxana’s mind, Curtis replied sharply, one corner of his mouth curling up as if he hadn't been silent at all.
"It’s quite touching, coming from a princess who has never stained her hands with a drop of blood."
Curtis whispered, looming over her as if to crush her wavering violet eyes.
"I don't care about the beliefs held by the weak, the destitute, and those who cannot even protect themselves. If you spout such sophistry in front of me again, you will have to give up that tongue."
At his murderous voice, which sounded as if he were chewing the words, Roxana could not bear it and averted her gaze. Sneering at her, Curtis stood up and brushed himself off.
"You’ve likely already heard it from Robert, but starting tomorrow, you will be attending to Frey. Day and night."
"……."
"If you cause her even the slightest harm, you will have to lose much more."
His voice was so cold it gave her goosebumps. Yet, for some reason, Roxana was reminded of a wild beast that had been deeply wounded and was baring its teeth. The kind that would bite off your finger if you reached out too easily.
To Roxana, who was staring blankly at his back, a chilling prompt was thrown.
"Answer me."
"……I will serve the young lady with all my heart."
No sooner had she finished speaking than the door was roughly opened and slammed shut.
* * *
The next day, her work as Frey’s dedicated maid hit a snag from the very first moment. Her first task was to pull back the curtains in Frey’s room and open the windows to ventilate the space. Frey, who had jumped up in her nightclothes, shrieked irritably.
"It’s cold! Are you trying to freeze me to death?"
"You are awake, my lady."
Though startled, Roxana turned around to answer. At the unfamiliar voice, Frey tilted her head.
"That’s a voice I haven't heard before. Who are you?"
"My name is."
The answer that was meant to come naturally caught in her throat. She was a person who should not have been in this Marquess of Russell’s castle in the first place. Was she not someone who should have died and been buried under Curtis’s blade two years ago? Hesitating, Roxana considered using a pseudonym, but in the end, she gave her name without the surname.
"I am Roxana. We met once before."
"Before?"
"Yes. Do you not remember?"
Fortunately, it seemed she did not know she was the daughter of the Marquess of Dalton. Roxana, relieved, smiled softly.
"You came to my room late at night and hid in the wardrobe."
"Did I? I don't know. I don't remember."
Frey, shaking her head, felt around the bed as if to climb down. Since she could not see, she might fall. Roxana rushed over and took her arm.
"I will help you."
"I don't need it."
Shaking off Roxana’s arm like a cat with its fur standing on end, Frey set her feet on the floor. As her bare feet touched the thick carpet, she felt a sense of relief.
"What is the weather like today?"
"The sky is high and the breeze is cool. Winter will be here soon, I suppose."
Roxana answered kindly and handed Frey the cane that had been placed by the bed.
"If you are cold, I will drape a shawl over you."
"I don't need it."
Refusing again, Frey felt the floor with her cane and went to sit on the couch. Roxana, following her with quick steps, performed her first service.
"I have brought the washbasin. I have placed it in front of you."
Instead of answering, Frey felt the table in front of her and dipped her hands into the water. After a few seconds, she furrowed her brows and tipped the basin over.
"It’s cold! Go draw more."
"Yes. I apologize."
She had clearly warmed it, but it seemed to have gone cold. Startled, Roxana knelt and tried to wipe Frey’s wet nightclothes with a towel. Frey pushed her hand away forcefully.
"That’s enough. Just clean up what you spilled and go draw more water. I can change my clothes after that."
Roxana nodded and left the room.
The young lady she had come to serve, Frey Russell, was in many ways different from her first impression. If she had been like a kitten trembling with fear and desperation last night, this morning she was like a wildcat sharpening its claws.
Was she in a bad mood today? After drawing water from the well again, Roxana placed it on the kitchen hearth. As she watched the flames, warming it to the right temperature, someone approached from behind.
"Hey, are you that maid named Roxana?"
"……Yes. Why do you ask?"
"I thought so! I knew it!"
The person who spoke was a maid, just like her. A woman of similar age, wearing the same uniform, smiled brightly and reached out for a handshake.
"My name is Alice. Nice to meet you. Roxana, right?"
"Oh. Yes, that’s right. It’s nice to meet you, too."
Caught off guard, Roxana took Alice’s hand and smiled awkwardly. Perhaps sensing her confusion, Alice continued the conversation cheerfully.
"I was the one attending to Lady Frey until yesterday. I was so surprised when my assignment was suddenly changed."
"Ah. I see."
Roxana’s eyes widened, and only then did she relax.
"I am sorry that your work changed because of me."
Alice shook her head as if she had heard something absurd.
"No! I’m actually grateful. Kitchen work suits me better. I had been working there for so long, but after the reassignment, I was on the verge of quitting."
"Pardon?"
At the unexpected answer, Roxana blinked. "Oops," Alice giggled, brushing off her slip of the tongue.
"You’ll understand what I mean soon enough. If you ever need any help, come here anytime. I’ll listen to you as your senior."
It was the first kindness she had experienced since coming to the castle, excluding Robert the butler. At the warm words, a sense of warmth spread deep within Roxana’s chest.
"Thank you so much."
"Oh, you can speak informally to me. We look to be about the same age. Let’s not worry about seniority."
"Are you… sure?"
"Of course."
Alice nodded and stared intently at Roxana, as if observing her. The news that the new maid had put the nasty senior maid, Lizzie, in her place had already spread throughout the castle. She, too, had been bullied severely by Lizzie when she was a newcomer, so she found it quite satisfying. She had expected a large, sturdy woman since she had heard she’d subdued her with force, but seeing her now, she was far from sturdy—a delicate young lady who looked like she might blow away in a strong gust of wind.
She was worried about whether she would survive the position of dedicated maid to Lady Frey, the most difficult and demanding person in the castle, but for some reason, she seemed to have a backbone, which gave her confidence. The odds were low, but perhaps she would adapt well.
"You must be busy. It looks warm enough now, so hurry and take it up."
Alice smiled back and nudged her forward. Then, she offered a silent prayer for her.
For now, at least, it’s going to be tough for a while.
And Alice’s premonition proved correct. After the arduous task of drawing fresh water, what awaited Roxana was nothing but irritation.
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