SERIES: An Impure Reunion
CHAPTER: An Impure Reunion Chapter 33
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33.
When Jian opened her eyes, the darkness around her had grown even deeper.
And right beside her, Taejun was watching her.
“You’re awake.”
After tormenting her without a moment’s rest, Taejun looked perfectly fine.
The sight of him, fully dressed unlike her naked self, was even rather infuriating.
Jian pulled the blanket up to her neck.
At that, Taejun decisively pulled the blanket away and lifted Jian into his arms.
“Stay still.”
“T-Taejun!”
Startled, Jian wrapped her arms around Taejun’s neck.
Seeing her action, a small smile played on Taejun’s lips.
The place he carried her to was the bathroom.
He placed her body into the warm water he had drawn beforehand.
“Is the temperature okay?”
Taejun asked, scooping up some water with his hand and wetting the nape of her neck.
“……It’s fine.”
At her reply, Taejun repeatedly splashed water over Jian’s body.
She wasn’t used to this kind of behavior from him, so Jian flinched every time his hand touched her body.
His large hand moved over her bare skin, seeming to almost envelop her small frame.
Her body tensed reflexively at his actions.
After caressing Jian for a while, Taejun pulled her body into an embrace.
“Your clothes will get wet.”
“It’s fine.”
Thanks to him, his sleeves were already soaked.
But Taejun didn’t seem to care about such things.
Instead, he tightened his arms around Jian, holding her closer.
Taejun’s breathing whispered directly into Jian’s right ear.
After a long moment where only the sound of their breathing passed between them, he finally spoke.
“I’ll try not to take things from you.”
“Taejun.”
“Whatever it is that Heo Jian holds dear, I’ll try not to touch it.”
He imagines snatching away everything she longs for, even now.
But then he also pictures himself hesitating, unable to take them away.
Today, he felt both of those emotions at once.
He especially never wanted to see her cry like she’d lost the entire world again.
Moreover, the fact that she wasn’t crying because of me made my anger surge, leading me to do something so childish.
‘Would she cry with that same world-shattering expression if I disappeared?’
This crude thought, which arose at the end of such a childish act, repeatedly circled his mind and wouldn’t leave.
What would your life be like if I disappeared?
You’d live well, without a care in the world, just like you did for the past five years.
You’d live incomparably better than I did, who went half-mad after losing you.
Taejun’s grip on Jian tightened.
“I’ll put whatever you desire into your hands.”
“……Taejun.”
“So, Heo Jian, just don’t think about leaving my side.”
I still imagine you leaving.
Sometimes I imagine you disappearing without a word, just like back then,
‘Taejun, you have to live well even without Mom.’
And I think of you leaving after saying the same irresponsible words, telling me to live well.
Just thinking about it makes me feel like I won’t be able to live well.
How could I live well after letting you go?
I didn’t live well, and I won’t be able to live well in the future either.
So.
“Just stay.”
Taejun’s lips lingered by Jian’s ear for a long moment before pulling away.
After parting his lips from her skin, he once again spoke quietly into her ear.
“Heo Jian, that’s all you have to do.”
Jian bit her lower lip for a moment.
She was struck anew by the depth of the loneliness in his voice.
It was as if he was saying, ‘I’m lonely, so please, just look at me because I’m lonely.’
“Hm? Jian.”
“…….”
Jian knew that she was the source of Taejun’s loneliness.
But in the face of his lonely cry, she answered with silence.
Yes, I know all too well that I’m being selfish.
But I’m still afraid to give you the answer you want.
‘I can’t picture myself standing by your side.’
The image of me by your side is always blurry, indistinct.
It also means that I can’t live as myself by your side.
That was why Jian hesitated to respond to his loneliness.
Because she didn’t want to go back to that time in the past when she was incompetent and had no sense of self.
When Jian opened her eyes again, it was morning.
Seeing the sunlight seeping through the small gap in the curtains, Jian covered her eyes with the back of her hand.
Just moving her arm sent an aching pain through every joint of her body.
She could barely lift a finger, yet she was now fully dressed.
She hadn’t dressed herself.
Last night, like a doll, she had simply let Taejun wash her and dress her, remaining still without lifting a finger.
There was a reason for that.
‘Don’t do anything. Just stay still.’
It was because Taejun had insisted on it.
Jian had stayed still, just as he said.
And before long, her body was dried completely, and she was even clothed.
Recalling how he had then carried her to the bed and given her his arm as a pillow, Jian’s face flushed.
“What on earth got into him?”
Jian hurriedly sat up in bed.
As a sharp pain/twinge made her vision go blank for a moment, Jian suddenly looked at the spot beside her.
“…….”
As expected, the spot beside her was empty.
Jian placed a hand on the empty space for a moment.
The lingering warmth was indirect proof that he hadn’t been gone for long.
For some reason, the empty space felt disappointing.
‘He could have stayed a little longer.’
It’s not like something would happen if he did.
Since marrying Taejun, she had spent countless nights with him, but the next morning, Jian was always alone.
Jian was not unaware that Taejun was busy with work, but it was inevitable that she would feel disappointed.
Every time she woke up in the morning to the empty space where he should have been, Jian had to feel a great emptiness, as if her own heart were empty.
As the frequency of that emptiness increased, it felt as though her heart had been completely burned away.
Perhaps that one trivial thing was what had come to control everything for Jian.
As her heart gradually burned away, Jian slowly let go, and in the end, she gave up on Taejun.
“What’s the point now?”
Recalling the moment she gave up on him, Jian quickly shook her head and left the room.
With every step she took to leave the room, she automatically grimaced at the pain spreading through her body.
But her expression changed 180 degrees the moment she entered the kitchen.
“You’re up.”
Taejun, who she thought would have already left for the office, was in the kitchen.
But there was something even more surprising.
“Come here.”
A meal was prepared on the table where he was sitting.
Jian’s eyes widened at the sight of the steaming rice.
“What is all this……?”
While Jian was dumbfounded, Taejun took her by the shoulder and sat her down at the table.
“The child is still sleeping.”
He then moved to the opposite side and placed a spoon in Jian’s hand as he spoke.
“I think it would be better not to send her to preschool today.”
Watching Taejun awkwardly bring up Seol-ah, Jian’s expression remained uncertain.
Jian forced a nod.
At her nod, Taejun nodded back, the corners of his mouth lifting in a faint smile.
As Jian silently watched him, she felt her face grow hot and quickly turned her head away.
At her action, Taejun immediately spoke up.
“Heo Jian.”
“…….”
“Look at me.”
His voice was almost a demand.
At his voice, Jian slowly turned her head as if she were a puppet and met his gaze.
The moment she turned her gaze, he was already sitting next to her—she hadn’t even seen him move—and was stroking her cheek.
“Come to the LY Department Store this afternoon.”
“Why there all of a sudden?”
“Buy whatever you need. Things for the kid, or for yourself. You haven’t gone out anywhere since you came here.”
Taejun was right.
Since coming here, other than taking Seol-ah to preschool and that one visit to Kang Jae’s restaurant, Jian hadn’t gone anywhere else.
Since Taejun had thrown such a fit about her visit to Kang Jae’s restaurant, Jian had no intention of getting on his bad side.
After that, she didn’t go anywhere else at all, except to Seol-ah’s preschool.
‘Is he really saying this because he doesn’t know?’
Did he not know that the reason her movements were so restricted was because of the eyes he had on her?
“The reason Heo Jian doesn’t move around is, of course, because the Driver Park I assigned to her reports everything to me.”
As she thought, he knew everything.
Taejun, who said such things while knowing everything, felt a little detestable.
“So move around where I can see you.”
In the end, telling her to come out like this was nothing more than adding another layer of shackles.
Taejun gently pressed his lips to Jian’s cheek.
“I feel just like a doll.”
Jian spoke the moment his lips left her cheek.
Taejun flinched at her words.
“The way you handle me is just like handling a doll.”
Jian said, holding his gaze steadily.
“Not just yesterday, but five years ago… and seven years ago.”
Jian, who had been holding his gaze steadily, hastily dropped her eyes when she mentioned seven years ago.
“Don’t have people watch me. I won’t suddenly run away or anything.”
The moment she finished saying she wouldn’t run away, Taejun once again stroked her cheek.
“Dolls don’t run away.”
“…….”
“But you did.”
Jian bit her lower lip hard.
“That’s why I have no choice but to be this desperate.”
“…….”
“Isn’t that right, Jian?”
Author: Donggeurami (Son Yoon-seo)
Publisher: Toonplus
Email: [email protected]
ISBN: 9791157738274
© Donggeurami (Son Yoon-seo), 2022
※ This e-book is published by <Toonplus> under contract with the copyright holder. Unauthorized reproduction and distribution are prohibited. Violation of this may result in legal action.
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