Chapter 18
“Hwacheon.”
Prince Hye grabbed my wrist. I shook off his hand at once.
“Please go to the Left State Councilor’s house to have tea, Your Highness. I am not feeling well, so I must return to the Prince’s Estate.”
I felt disgusted even using the term *so-cheop* to refer to myself. Why should I have to lower myself like that?
“Is it even reasonable to leave you behind when we are going to your father’s house? I accepted the Councilor’s invitation because I thought you might miss your home. Once a woman marries, it is difficult to visit her maiden home without a special reason.”
“I clearly expressed that I did not want to go. Yet, it was you, Your Highness, who accepted on your own accord. Do you think I don’t know that you are doing this because you enjoy watching me struggle and wander in distress?”
His words about doing this for my sake felt hypocritical. I hated how he put on such a show.
The fact that I felt hatred was proof that I had trusted him, even if only a little. If I hadn’t trusted him at all, there would have been no reason to feel betrayed, nor any reason to hate him.
Without realizing it, I must have felt the foolish emotion of trust toward him. How could I be so stupid?
At that moment, my father suddenly cut in.
“Yoo Hwacheon! What kind of insolent way of speaking is that to Prince Hye!”
To think he would interrupt a conversation between me, the Consort of Prince Hye, and my husband, the Prince. How could he be so oblivious to his place?
It is because he is like this that his concubine and Hwaryeong learned from his example and shamelessly act without knowing their own station.
“Councilor. What kind of rudeness is that toward the Consort of Prince Hye?”
“T-that is not what I meant…!”
“I believe I made it clear. Before she is your daughter, she is my wife. Even if she is a daughter, once she has married into the Prince’s Estate, she is a Consort of the Empire whom you must serve. Is it that difficult for your brilliant mind to accept that?”
My father tried to offer an excuse, but Prince Hye blocked him by gripping my hand tightly.
“Let’s go, Hwacheon.”
He added in a clear, firm voice.
“Home.”
Led by Prince Hye’s hand, I left the scene. That single word, “home,” lingered in my ears.
Once we had walked far enough that my father was no longer in sight, I opened my mouth.
“Are you giving me a disease only to offer the cure?”
“I do not know how you misinterpreted what just happened, but I truly accepted it for your sake.”
“Did you truly not know that I was uncomfortable?”
“I did not know the root of that discomfort. I only thought you were refusing because you missed your maiden home but were wary of my presence.”
He continued.
“And to my eyes, it did not look like you were merely pushing the Left State Councilor away. You seemed glad, perhaps even nostalgic. I read those signs and simply thought you were acting that way out of shyness.”
At those words, the tears I had been holding back finally burst forth.
It was true.
Behind the discomfort, there was definitely a part of me that felt glad and nostalgic about the chance encounter with the father who reminded me of my maiden home.
It seemed Prince Hye had pierced through that fleeting sincerity—which my reason had tried so hard to deny—with his Mind-Reading. He was like a ghost.
“I dislike my father.”
“You should refrain from saying such things.”
“If I dislike him, what else am I supposed to call it?”
“You are soon to be the Crown Princess.”
“…….”
“The Crown Princess must be a model for all women as the future Empress. Who would look up to someone who abandons filial piety and despises her own father? And who would serve me, having such a wife?”
Filial piety and loyalty were the foundations of this society. It meant that a woman who did not uphold those basic virtues was not qualified to be the Crown Princess, nor the Empress.
But when did I ever say I wanted to be the Crown Princess? Did I ever wish to ascend to the position of Empress and become a model for all?
It was the Imperial Family that placed me in this position, not I. It was unfair enough to be forced into a seat I did not want, but to have to kill my own nature just to become a person worthy of that seat?
“Why do you dislike your father so much?”
“…….”
“I am your husband, and you are my person. We are on the same side. So, lower your guard and tell me anything. There is no benefit in hiding things from me.”
If I told him that my father brought in a concubine and mistreated my mother and me, and that I hated him for it, this man would surely laugh at me.
In a world where it is common sense for a man to take a concubine and dote on her, he would ask if I was throwing a tantrum over such a trivial thing.
His own father had countless concubines, and he himself grew up among numerous half-siblings. And is he not a man who will take many concubines himself in the future?
Therefore, he would not understand my heart.
Because he was, by nature, a person who stood on the side of the strong, just like my father. He was someone who had lived a life where he never had to consider the position of the weak, nor did he ever need to.
This was not a hasty judgment, but a sorrowful conclusion drawn from the experiences I had lived through.
I decided not to explain my pain. I could not let my wounds be reduced to a light joke for this man.
Even if I cried and clung to him for comfort, he would never be able to understand me in the first place.
The world always revolves around the logic of the strong, and the humiliation of the weak becomes an object of ridicule.
Even my mother, who suffered the same pain as I did, always took my father’s side, didn’t she? The weak have no intention of banding together, nor the will to resist the strong.
“Your Highness, there are invisible thorns in a person’s heart; if you get too close, you end up stabbing each other.”
“…….”
“But if you keep a proper distance and take precautions so the thorns do not pierce your flesh, you can share your heart without getting hurt.”
“……But we are a married couple. There is no need for such boundaries.”
Ryu Hyeok was shocked by his own words.
He was a man who had drawn lines and protected his own self more thoroughly than anyone. To think he would utter such sentimental words as “no need for boundaries” to a woman he barely knew.
He must have lost his reason for a moment after seeing a woman’s tears.
“It is necessary precisely because we are a married couple. Where else is there a relationship that requires as much courtesy and boundaries as a married couple? The closer you are, the more clearly you must draw lines and be wary so as not to be pricked by each other’s thorns.”
“……Hwacheon.”
“Because that is how you protect a precious relationship. Am I wrong?”
Silence is a type of lie. There are lies completed by speaking, and lies completed by not speaking.
People are wary of the former, but often do not even realize the latter is a lie. Yet, the latter is the most perfect deception.
A situation where the absolute truth puts me in danger, and an absolute lie destroys trust. In such times, the smartest method is to mix the two and offer them up.
Therefore, I skillfully mixed the truth with the lie of silence and offered it to him.
“But you are crying.”
Prince Hye reached out and wiped away my tears. The pale tears, mixed with powder, stained his fingers.
Feeling a sense of shame for no reason, I took out a handkerchief and carefully wiped the moisture from his hand. Prince Hye silently accepted my touch.
“What does my crying have to do with you, Your Highness?”
“You are crying, and I am frustrated because I do not know the reason.”
Ryu Hyeok wanted to know Hwacheon’s inner thoughts. He wanted to uncover the secret she was hiding.
Even though he knew that looking away was the best course of action and that not digging deeper was the stable path, such a desire kept raising its head.
“Please be frustrated. If you knew, you would only be more frustrated. There is nothing good to be gained from digging into it.”
Everyone begs him to understand their hearts. They cling to him, asking him to understand their plight. They act as if all their problems would be solved if only he understood.
But this woman tells him not to even try to know her heart. Even before he can draw a line, she builds a solid wall first, setting up sharp thorns and telling him not to cross over.
It was strange. It was so strange that it was pitiful, and because of that, she caught his eye.
He wanted to do something because her crying face was pitiful, but she firmly refused. She could receive help, yet she insisted on suffering alone.
Why did that feel so upsetting?
“I am a man worthy of trust.”
“Who said you weren’t?”
“I am pointing it out because you seem not to know.”
He gave her one more chance. Hoping she would open her heart.
“I know. I know, Your Highness.”
Hwacheon smiled. It was an unfamiliar sight—a smile forced by pulling up the corners of her lips while tears were still flowing. I had never seen such a sorrowful smile in my life.
“I know you are a good person.”
“Then why.”
“That is why you must not try to know me.”
“Then, why don’t you ask why, instead?”
“If you are not understood by a bad person, you can at least rationalize that it is because that person is bad. But if you are not understood even by a good person, then you truly have nowhere to lean, and your heart just rots away.”
Those words were like a verdict, concluding that he would never be able to understand her.
Ryu Hyeok hated that very much.
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