Episode 4. Destiny rather than coincidence (4)
The nurse left the room and silence fell between the two.
haha-
Jeong Hee-seong smiled awkwardly.
“Dohyun, listen. “I wasn’t trying to trick you.”
“… … .”
“Dohyun? Little brother? hey… ?”
flutter flutter-
Do-hyeon ignored Jeong Hee-seong’s call and turned the pages.
The appearance was so natural that Jeong Hee-seong thought for a moment that he was truly invisible to Do-hyeon’s eyes.
“Well, since you were hiding the name of your illness, how about we fight?”
Dohyeon raised his head at those words.
“I didn’t lie.”
Jeong Hee-seong, stung by those words, quietly kept his mouth shut.
Jeong Hee-seong sighed softly as he looked at Do-hyeon who started reading the book again.
‘I didn’t mean to deceive you.’
Jeong Hee-seong did not realize that he was thinking the same thing as Do-hyeon a moment ago.
Jeong Hee-seong’s eyes looked somewhere in the past.
‘It’s a really unremarkable story.’
He evaluated his past like that with a cynical expression.
Jeong Hee-seong looked at Do-hyeon.
He was reading a book with an expressionless face, but his lips were sticking out a little more than usual, clearly showing that he was upset.
Although he was sulking like a child, he was a child who had calmly talked about his misfortune just a moment ago.
Jeong Hee-seong had a strange curiosity.
After listening to that little boy’s story.
If I find out that I really am a worthless person, then.
Will you be disappointed in me?
He impulsively opened his mouth.
“It’s been a year since I gave up the violin.”
I know this is childish behavior.
I also know that you are behaving pathetically towards a child.
Even though I thought I should stop, I couldn’t.
“Strangely, the more I played the violin, the worse I felt. “At first I thought it was a mistake, but then the doctor told me not to play.”
Do-hyeon, who had not expected a dark story to come out, looked at Jeong Hee-seong in confusion.
‘… ‘Are you smiling?’
Dohyun just blinked at the incomprehensible expression.
“But actually, these are all excuses.”
Jeong Hee-seong said in a light tone.
“It just gave me an opportunity not to play.”
“Don’t you like the violin?”
“Well, I didn’t start because I liked it. I just did it because I had to. “As I did that, it just became a habit.”
Jeong Hee-seong’s voice was so calm that even Do-hyeon was momentarily fooled. She unravels her own past just as Jeong Hee-sung talks about the affairs of others.
“It was four years ago that I was hospitalized. I was performing at that time, and suddenly my whole body felt like it was going to explode. “I collapsed as soon as the performance ended.”
Jeong Hee-seong looked at Do-hyeon and smiled slightly.
“But they say it might be because of the violin playing. Haha, hard to believe, isn’t it? The doctor said it might be stress related. Knowing that it was because of the violin that I became like this, it was difficult for me to continue. “I lost all my strength.”
Dohyeon quietly listened to him.
“I didn’t deceive you on purpose. I just did it because it wasn’t important. It’s been four years since I first started working as a violinist, and it’s been over a year since I even played. I didn’t need to tell you because it was in the past, but I didn’t know you would be upset. sorry.”
Do-hyeon did not respond to Jeong Hee-seong’s apology. As the silence grew longer, Jeong Hee-seong became a little nervous for no reason.
Why am I really like this?
I was so pathetic that I felt like I was going to die.
As Jeong Hee-seong was falling into self-blame, Do-hyeon opened his mouth.
“I misidentified the person I should be sorry for.”
Jeong Hee-seong frowned slightly at the unexpected remark.
“Then who do I have to apologize to?”
Jeong Hee-seong seemed to have spoken a little aggressively without realizing it, so he quickly looked at Do-hyeon’s face.
However, there was no sign of displeasure or fear on Dohyeon’s face.
Instead, he was looking straight at Jeong Hee-seong with dark eyes of unknown depth, and I felt as if he was seeing through everything.
‘I’m crazy.’
No matter how old he looked, he was only an 8-year-old child.
I thought I had gone too far and was about to reflect on myself again, but Do-hyeon’s words stopped me from thinking.
“Brother.”
The voice was calm, as if stating an extremely obvious fact.
“… what?”
“My brother is the one who should be sorry.”
It was a confident voice, as if declaring.
Dohyeon actually noticed.
Although he acts cheerful, it turns out that he is not as bright as he appears.
That was partly because Dohyun was used to reading other people’s facial expressions, but it was impossible not to notice his eyes suddenly sinking while he was talking.
However, I was just pretending not to know because my brother didn’t want it.
“I don’t think my brother has any talent for acting.”
Jeong Hee-seong’s face crumpled.
“Where have I never heard anything like that before?!”
Do-hyeon, seeing Jeong Hee-seong trembling, tilted his head as if he was genuinely puzzled.
To be honest, Jeong Hee-seong seemed quite offended.
Rather than making excuses, Dohyun decided to explain why he thought that way.
“The expression was perfect. To be honest, I almost got fooled by my brother. But, the eyes. “I could tell by looking at your eyes.”
Do-hyeon looked straight at Jeong Hee-seong and spoke clearly.
“Brother, you like the violin.”
“You said you didn’t like it.”
“If you’re going to say something like that, at least cover your face.”
Jeong Hee-seong burst into laughter at Do-hyeon’s firm words.
“brother. It’s okay to lie. If that makes you happy. But that’s not true.”
Dohyeon continued speaking calmly.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel bad by saying this. however… .”
Dohyeon, who was trailing off his words, spoke in a low voice.
“My brother looked like he was having a hard time.”
Jeong Hee-seong paused at those words. Dohyeon looked at him with eyes filled with pure affection and concern.
“I don’t want my brother to have a hard time.”
Absolutely pure sincerity, without any pretense or lies.
Jeong Hee-seong took a slow breath at the vivid affection that hit him head-on without even wrapping it.
okay.
If you think about it, this little boy showed affection for him from the moment they first met.
Even though I thought it was funny, I couldn’t refuse when he said he would come the next day.
Strange kid.
A child who reminds me of the ugly me when I was young.
I didn’t want to get closer than a certain line.
It was definitely like that.
Jeong Hee-seong wiped his face and looked at Do-hyeon.
Do-hyeon was carefully watching Jeong Hee-seong.
He couldn’t help but think so much with that small head, embracing all the worries in the world.
Although he didn’t say it out loud, I felt like I knew what Dohyun was thinking right now. Knowing that someone cared about you was more heartbreaking than you thought.
Jeong Hee-seong suddenly felt scared.
I was afraid of the blind favor given to me.
At that time, Do-hyeon’s small hand came up to Jeong Hee-seong’s hand. Jeong Hee-seong’s body trembled in the warmth.
Aside from the first time he supported him, this was the first time Dohyun had reached him on his own.
And in that little warmth.
“under.”
Unbeknownst to him, the wall collapsed little by little, leaving only its shape completely destroyed.
“ha ha ha. ha ha ha!”
Jeong Hee-seong, who turned his hand over and held the small hand tightly, laughed like a crazy person.
Was this a gift given to me because I was so pitiful at the end of my boring life?
“Why did you show up now?”
Dohyeon looked puzzled at those unexpected words.
Jeong Hee-seong laughed heartily because what he said was funny. Seeing as she resented her little boy for having spent his entire life in the hospital, it seemed like she had gone as far as she could.
Jeong Hee-seong shook his head as if it was nothing.
The wall that protected him was no longer there.
But as I held his warm little hand, I felt like everything would be okay.
Jeong Hee-seong impulsively opened his mouth.
“It’s a trivial history. Do you want to hear it?”
Dohyeon nodded at those words. As Jeong Hee-seong recalled, she tapped the bed with her finger a couple of times.
The first time I fell, I didn’t feel anything.
I knew before that that I wasn’t feeling well. That’s why I just felt like something had come.
Without even thinking about it, I did what the hospital told me to do and played with the violin by myself.
It was two years later that something strange happened.
The doctor said he suspected a rare disease.
A disease that has no known cause and no cure, and is said to only exist in the world except for oneself.
Still, it didn’t matter.
Because I thought I had done enough.
I thought if this was the end for me, I would just accept it.
However, I could not ignore the doctor’s recommendation that I should stop playing the violin.
“It took up most of my life. “I don’t like it, I like it, whenever I want.”
After a little hesitation, I let it out like a sigh.
“It’s not good or bad. The violin was just a part of me. Because without it, my life wouldn’t be possible. A part of it fell off, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a problem. But, everyone says that. First of all, you have to be alive to do anything else. “I thought about it carefully, and it seems like life is more important than the violin.”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, I said it in a big way, but in the end, it’s obvious. Giving up one thing for the other is something that cannot be helped in life. “It’s unfortunate, but there’s nothing we can do, right?”
His attitude was light, as if he had no regrets.
Dohyeon sighed.
“liar.”
I couldn’t hide my eyes before, but this time I can’t hide the trembling of my fingertips.
Even if I tried to fool him, I couldn’t.
He still loved the violin so much that he wanted to pick up a bow at any moment.
While listening to Jeong Hee-seong, Do-hyeon realized something.
My body became strangely saggy after acting.
I thought it was just a feeling of exhaustion due to lack of energy, but now I think I understand.
‘Probably, just as my brother’s health deteriorated when he played the violin, it probably happened to me when I acted.’
Although scientifically speaking, it may seem unlikely, Dohyun somehow felt that this might be the right answer.
Do-hyeon looked at Jeong Hee-seong.
“Why do you keep lying?”
“what? Even if I said it, it was a lie. “Why do I lie?”
“That’s a lie too.”
Jeong Hee-seong’s face cracked. But Dohyeon was sure.
Even though Do-hyeon learned that his health would worsen if he continued acting, he still enjoyed acting.
Would you be happy if you lived for a long time without acting?
‘That can’t be possible.’
Rather, it was clear that he would become unhappy.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I also have something I like to do.”
“What is that?”
“I like acting. Cry, laugh, get angry, happy, and sad like the characters in the book. When you are filled with all kinds of emotions, it feels like you have become a different person. Crying and laughing normally… “That kind of person.”
Dohyun, who said that, bloomed brightly like a painting that came to life.
Jeong Hee-seong looked at Do-hyeon without realizing it. Although she was a child who did not express much of her emotions, she had a sparkling light inside her.
Jeong Hee-seong felt like he had finally seen Do-hyeon face to face.
“You know what? What I heard the most from Benjamin was that today might be a critical day. There is a saying that no matter how often you hear it, you never get used to it. I just couldn’t get used to those words. “It’s natural.”
“Dohyun.”
“Every time everyone looked at me at the end, the only thing that saved me and waited for me was acting. “That desire was my support.”
Do-hyeon, who made eye contact with Jeong Hee-seong, spoke with emphasis, one note at a time.
“Even if I die tomorrow, I want to act today. “You too, right?”
Jeong Hee-seong sighed.
“You want to play the violin.”
It was a voice that was sure of what he said without a single doubt. Jeong Hee-seong could not say anything.
Do-hyeon, who was looking at Jeong Hee-seong like that, opened the book he was holding in his hand. After checking the opened pages, Do-hyeon handed the book over to Jeong Hee-seong.
Do-hyeon got up from his chair while watching Jeong Hee-seong awkwardly accept the book that was suddenly presented to him.
Jeong Hee-seong’s gaze landed on Do-hyeon’s face. Dohyeon went to a slightly wider seat and stood with a nonchalant expression.
Moment.
The vitality disappeared from Dohyeon’s face.
The eyes, which were devoid of any light, gave off a foul odor, like a rotten corpse.
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